Affection is the cement of a relationship. It is the bond that knits wives to their husbands like nothing else. When a man gives his wife affection he saying things like this: “I care for you!” “You are the most important person to me!” “What would I do without you?” “I will defend you!”
Look at what the Apostle Paul says, “Husbands go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them.” Colossians 3:19, The Message. The Amplified Bible puts it this way, “…be affectionate and sympathetic with them, and do not be harsh, bitter or resentful toward them.”
As a Pastor I have discovered this about marriage relationships: All LOVE IS LEARNED! This really is profound because it means that no matter what our family background is we can plow new ground by incremental steps of obedience.
Husbands here are four ways you can show affection to your mates:
By Your Words
Every wife needs a steady diet of compliments. Think of creative ways you can affirm her by what you say. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it (to talk) shall eat it’s fruit.” (NASB)
Compliments that highlight her beauty and behavior will empower her to lift her head high, keep going in the challenges of life, and at the same time bring her deep fulfillment!
By Your Actions
The exchange of positive behaviors is the key determiner of marital happiness. Mutual happiness is the glue to a fulfilling marriage. In fact, it is said that for every one negative interaction there needs to be seventeen positive actions. Wow! Lets get to the practical doing side of caring for our wives!
James 2:22 (NIV) says, “You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did.”
By Your Touch
Some of the most sensitive nerves are in our hands. A light touch to your mate’s shoulder, arm, leg or neck is a powerful means to demonstrate affection. Men, each day make it your aim to touch your wife before you leave for work, right before you go to sleep, while you pray together out loud, at the dinner table, while you are watching TV and at countless other moments throughout your day. Husbands, take the initiative!
By Your Focused Attention
One of the most significant reasons couples drift apart is because they start to live their lives separate from each other. Of course we need individual time, but when we start living a lifestyle of individual activities separate from one another, your marriage will suffer. It’s as simple as that.
Exchanging eye contact, face-to-face communication, turning off the TV, and sitting down together in moments where it’s ‘just the two of you’, are practical ways that you can give focused attention.
Husbands ask your spouse: “What are ways that I can demonstrate affection that you enjoy?” Listen to her response and begin to act today.
Next Week I will address women specifically as to how they can meet the most important need for men-(physical intimacy).
Steyn, Mark. America Alone. p. 10