More frequently, marital breakups occur when one or both partners lack the skills or awareness to meet each other’s needs. More often than not, being right or wrong for someone depends not on some mysterious compatibility quotient, but on how willing and able you are to meet that someone’s needs. No matter how healthy one’s marriage is there is always room for progress and one of the great realities is that we can all be retrained because all love is learned. There is always hope!
Figuratively speaking, we each have a Love Bank. It contains many different accounts, one for each person we know. Each person either makes deposits or withdrawals whenever we interact with him or her. Pleasurable interactions cause deposits, and painful interactions cause withdrawals. Two love banks are open for business in marriage.
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV) says, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
Most people would never consider pursuing a career without gaining knowledge of that particular field of work. Yet when it comes to marriage we fly by the seat of our pants without proper training and in many cases retraining. The simple command in 1 Peter 3 has huge ramifications.
Men and women make a study of your mate by discovering his or her needs. Work rigorously to fill your mates love bank by making direct deposits!
Deposits like words of affirmation, focused attention, consistent eye contact, touching and smiling, praying together out loud, holding hands, complementing each other privately and publically, listening and being attentive to each other when talking, opening up the Word of God together, and regularly engaging in healthy interactive conversations are ways that you can be sure your emotionally well- being will flourish!
One of the benefits of unselfish love is that eventually you begin to eat the fruit of your righteous actions. Enjoy each othe this is your companion for life!
Remember James 1:22 (ESV) “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”
Next week I will address the most significant need for women!